Wednesday night is an important night. Yes, it is bible study night at church, and next year, even Willard will get to go to the children's ministry at our church. But second to God, is fellowship with others-including family. My husband and our oldest son get to play video games after our youngest falls asleep. It is special daddy-son bonding time, since our youngest demands a lot of our time. Eventually Maynard will get his own night as well, but since he is young, he has to wait a bit longer!
Since Randy changed jobs, the bonding still happens, but not necessarily on Wednesday nights. All week, Willard has been asking if it is "Wensday" night, and I show him the calendar or tell him the day and he tries to figure out how many days until Wednesday. Tonight he said, "Mom, it is "Wensday" night." I explained to him that when dad got home, he would spend that special time with him then. He seemed to be content with my answer.
Tonight, after I got the boys in bed, I set out to read the blogs I had mentioned earlier. I was done with one-again-inspired to blog- and was viewing the other's myspace page, and I hear tapping on the floor. I asked quietly, "Willard...Why are you out of bed?" He said, "Maynard is asleep and it's "Wensday" night."
I was quite shocked, and I didn't quite know what to say. My stomach dropped a bit. I don't have a clue how to race that video game, and I don't want to take over the important night that my son longs for. Normally, they muscle the love seat over, grab the controllers, and sit and race for 30 minutes or so, and just hang out, naming cars and spending time together.
What is a mom to do? I was out of my comfort level. This isn't my way of bonding! So, instead of moving the heavy love seat, I had him grab a couple camping chairs that we had leaning in the corner. He grabbed "daddy's" and had me sit in mine. He did seem to enjoy me fiddling with the controllers and trying to figure out how to choose the Camaro.
He did a great job racing, and knew more of the buttons than I did. When he was all done, he asked me to carry him to bed, so I did, ending the night a second time with another big kiss. It was well worth the time, but I ached inside because this night was Father-Son night.
I don't know if Willard understands what he is feeling. It must be a bit tough to not have Dad home, but other than a few behavioral issues, he seems to do great. I am not sure how Maynard is doing, but he does point out things that belong to Randy and say, "daddy's". When they ask where he is, I make sure to let them know that he loves them very much and that he is working hard to provide for our family. They get excited to talk with him on the phone, and they know that postcards are on the way as well.
I miss him. It is hard to fall asleep alone, and I miss talking to him. I miss the closeness and the fellowship. I miss the guidance and advice, even the little arguments. I miss him because I know how much he misses the boys. He is such a great husband and father. He loves those boys more than I do, and I love them so much. I know it is tough on him-being away from us. But I know that it is my responsibility to keep the home...to hold down the fort, keep the home fires burnin' (Candles actually, since we don't have a fireplace!) I love that he has enough confidence in me to do all the home stuff while he is away. (Which reminds me...Friday is garbage day and I get to put the trash cans out.) He is such a great man, and I thank God that I am able to share my life with him. We are looking forward to the day when we can just "be" a family, no deadlines, stupid debt, etc. Just being together, growing in God's Word, loving each other, and serving each other.
Tonight was such a great end to a long day (after the boys woke up from their naps, things went downhill fast!). While the boys were napping, I was listening to a Bible study, and the pastor was talking about the will of God. In summary, it isn't the will of God that "this thing happened at this time, or this thing didn't happen." It is God's will that regardless of what happens, it is who we lean on, praise, and thank. He wants us to rejoice in him always, give thanks to him always, no matter what the circumstance. Boy I sure didn't have the right attitude many times tonight.
Knowing and obeying are 2 different things. Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day. A chance for renewal-2 Cor. 4:16
Time for bed I suppose. Though, I might check the blogs from yesterday just to make sure I didn't miss any new posts!