Last night, I went shopping, by myself, at Wally World. My husband expected me to be brief. I knew it wouldn't work out that way. He was leaving, and I needed to get some items for his trip.
I had a list of things to get. Skivvies, Compressed Air, Baking Soda, Paper Towels and Kleenex.
The undies were buy-one-get-one-free, and since they are 7 bucks a shot...I got 3, so we ended up with 6! The compressed air was locked up behind doors, and since I am not old enough to bring it to the front by myself, I had to request it at the register. I got the cutest little box of baking soda ever. Smaller than my hands. (Well, that is prety plausible since I have big hands.) I got a large pack of "Paper Toweling" as I like to call them. And I couldn't find a large box of unscented, unlotioned, undisney Kleenex.
I searched and searched. I found a cute pair of jammies for 3 bucks. 6 pair of socks for $5.88 and a few other things that shall remain unnamed. (They were found in the craft section, and it had to do with a wild hair that I got from another MOPS thing we did. No, it wasn't a hair cutting book or painting or anything. It was a craft we did. Until I know if I am capable or not, I would rather not reveal what it is...LOL)
16 items later, I found the last item on my husband's list. A large box of Kleenex.
Only two hours later, I arrived home, famished, yet relaxed. A little retail therapy is good for a person. After the kids were asleep, and I got my stuff done for the night, I was ready to show my sweet and loving husband (some of) my purchases.
Here is how our conversation went:
"OH Honey! You have to see these cute socks I got tonight since all my socks are over a year old and I needed new ones aren't they just soo cute honey? They were only 6 bucks for all six of them!"
"Well, they look like socks."
"I just think they are soooo cute. I can't wait to wear them. You know, most women don't wear nice clothes and socks to impress the guys, It's to impress the girls...if I saw a girl with these socks on I would say...Oh, those socks are soooo cute...wanna be best friends???"
Randy looked at me and said. "Oh my G******* (insert your own phrase there), you are turning into a woman."
I didn't know what to say. I actually stopped talking. Rare, but it does happen from time to time. I thought about what he said...I have enjoyed shopping more. I do have cute bras now that I am not nursing. I have been wearing mascara and lip shimmer. Oh, and I have to fix my hair now.
So, I said, "Honey, I have always been a woman, even since before we met."
"No, you are turning into a normal woman. (Here, I sorta breathed a sigh of relief, until I over analyzed it.) He could sense my confusion, and potential wrath.
"More feminine I mean," He said. "Not that I don't enjoy you being more feminine. I guess its just hard to get used too, since you haven't always been that way."
So, I did what any respectable woman would do. I sat down on the edge of the bed, bent over to take my socks off, and let one rip.
He said, "Nevermind, I take it all back."