Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Hunter...

Sometimes I feel like Steve Irwin. Whether it is socks, toys, books, water bottles or coins, my boys and I seem to have our daily hunts.

Early this morning (well, my version of early), Willard came running into our room, with huge eyes and a kleenex in his hand.

"Momma, Momma, come quick!"

I had to shake my sleepiness out...I am NOT a morning person.

Many things run through my head...Maynard got hurt (but he wasn't making a sound. Heck, he was right next to me.)...One of his toys got stuck in one of the holes in the wall...Something Diego did really impressed him...I could go on.

"I saw a Biiiiggggg Spider Momma!" He was hopping up and down like a kid on caffeine.

Lovely. Not only do I hate strongly dislike spiders, it was morning, and I am not well prepared for spider hunting from a prone position.

If it were the first time Willard had asked me to hunt down and kill a spider, it would have been different. But it seems in the last 2 weeks, spiders, or anything that crawls or moves, is a spider, and must be killed. He seems a bit obsessive about it, yet still seems as though he could crap his pants at any moment. I think he is excited to see it, yet terrified at the same time.

Maynard is also a bit freakish when it comes to creepy crawlies...he will dance on his tippy toes if he sees an ant, then proceed to bend down, and try to touch them, step on them, then come running and tell me "bider"!

In order to minimize my efforts in the dawn (ok, not really at dawn) of the day, and to avoid standing up, I asked him to show me how big it was. He touches his thumbs and fingers together to make a shape about the size of my palm.

I am a bit grossed out. I start getting the creepy crawlies, and


(Sorry, Willard came in and wanted to type Library, since we will be going there later)

Where was I?

Since I can't show fear, I asked him again what he saw, so I could gather the courage to put on my brave face, and tight khaki shorts.

It was a SPIDER momma, with legs! and it ran under Maynard's bed!

Thinking he might be exaggerating how big this ---now frighteningly big--- spider could be, I asked him to show me again, how big it was.

He showed me his interpretation on how big it was, and it didn't seem any smaller, or bigger.

I place my feet on the floor. By this time, both the kids have kleenexes in their hands and are running back and forth, ready to attack this monster living under my baby's bed.

I wasn't sure how I was going to accomplish this task. See, at one time, Randy had told me he saw a large spider running around..he said it was able to lift walls, and crawl under...but he, too, has a strong dislike of spiders.

Ok, I have to pause for a heeby jeeby break.

I grab each of the boys a banana, and tell them to sit on Willard's bed. I figure rather than destroy it, I would capture it and put it into a jar or something, at least until Randy got home to view this thing. I even had a plan on how to feed him, but I won't go there today.

I grabbed the covers off the bed, shaking them. No spider.

I grabbed the sheets and mattress pad. No spider.

I grabbed the mattress, and leaned it against the closet. No spider.

I grabbed the mattress board and leaned it against the window. No spider.

I grabbed both drawers and slowly pulled them out, expecting a spider to crawl across my foot. I would have screamed like a little girl and ran out of the house to call the Orkin Man. The kids may have had to fend for themselves. Ok...well maybe not the fend for themselves part.

No spider.

Now there are only a few things under this bed. Two batteries from a flashlight. 3 pieces of train track. 3 unused diapers. A poster board tube that the boys use to roll balls through. A teddy bear.

Not too bad...that tube was a bit ominous. I started with the teddy bear. No spider. Then the batteries and train tracks. Nope. Diapers...shook them like a mad spider.

The tube. In one hand I have a container to capture this THING. I tippy-toed over and reached down for the tube with my left hand. As I was looking down, I noticed this eeeeeeetttttyyy beeeettttyy spider, next to the tube. I kinda chuckle, and ask Willard to come and look. I then relax my feet, and wonder why my foot was caving in from a cramp.

(I had to point it out to him.) Do you see it anywhere around here?

"There it is mom! Get it quick, before it bites you!"

I have him grab me a kleenex and I get the little bugger. He was no bigger than my pinky nail.

Whoa, havea look at this lil' fella! Crikey!



Tanya said...

aren't kids the greatest? too funny!

gordostyle said...

I'm rolling! That is SO our family! Now I know who to call when I see a "BIG" one when hubby is out of town! Smiles,