People who are rude to you, just because you drive an old Plymouth Station Wagon with a fake T-Bird painted on the hood, runs on only a couple cylinders at a time, has hail damage, no front grill and dents all over. IT'S A CLASSIC!
The Doodlebops.
Dishwasher detergent that doesn't work.
When someone gives you their direct extension, and you still have to be on hold for 20 minutes.
Oh, I should write these down more... I know I had more...
Monday, November 5, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Open Mouth, Insert Foot...and Leg...and Knee...
The other night while at work, a couple came in and were purchasing a two boxes of "prophylactics" (to be proper!), one small one, and one large one. Our screen showed that the large one was on sale, but the sale price wasn't being reflected. I had to un-bag the box, and scan it for a price check. Low and Behold...it was a buy one get one free. Not a problem, just a bit embarrassing to have to handle that box more than once.
A couple nights later, a different couple came in, much younger than the couple I mentioned above, and they were also buying prophylactics. However, it wasn't the box on sale. The man was talking with a co-worker of mine, and his lady was reading a magazine, both attempting to focus on other things, not what they were buying, due to what it was, etc...
Now, not too often, but often enough to remember, I have said things out loud that either, I should have not said at all, or should have spoken in a clear and concise way.
Like the time I was cutting cake at a previous employer, and was thinking in my head, the big piece of cake, goes to the "big man", (who was, and still is, THE Sheriff). I would never call him that to his face (well, keep reading) but, I have little private jokes with myself going on all the time...(a whole other blog). The cake was a going away cake for me, since I was quitting to become a stay at home mom, not because of the incident that followed...(I was 9 months pregnant at the time.)
So in walks the Sheriff, and I say "Well, there is the Big Man himself!"...loud enough for everyone to hear, including him, and the whole room went silent. Not whispering to each other silent. Silent like Sprint-hearing a pin drop-silent. I was ready to crawl under the table and never come out. I was beyond embarrassed.
Eventually the whole room was roaring, and I was as red as the maroon shirts they had us wear. So, after we all had our cake, and calming down from the "incident" (we should have had a de-briefing meeting..J/K), he was going to give a speech. Everyone was chit-chatting away, so he said..."Excuse me, the Big Man would like to say something" (or something like that, all I know is he referred to himself as the Big Man, and I was red all over again during his speech.) DOH!
So, that is one time where I should have kept my thoughts inside my head, instead of blurting them out on a whim.
This night in the Grocery Store though, I was TRYING to make my words come out right, and I told him that "The big ones are on sale". He just looked at me funny. The lady just dropped the magazine on the floor, everyone turned red, and then I started giggling and then we all busted out laughing.
What made it worse, is that in my nervousness, I kept trying to explain what I was saying, but we were all too shocked to care. They didn't get the bigger box, and I haven't mentioned a sale like that to anyone since!
A couple nights later, a different couple came in, much younger than the couple I mentioned above, and they were also buying prophylactics. However, it wasn't the box on sale. The man was talking with a co-worker of mine, and his lady was reading a magazine, both attempting to focus on other things, not what they were buying, due to what it was, etc...
Now, not too often, but often enough to remember, I have said things out loud that either, I should have not said at all, or should have spoken in a clear and concise way.
Like the time I was cutting cake at a previous employer, and was thinking in my head, the big piece of cake, goes to the "big man", (who was, and still is, THE Sheriff). I would never call him that to his face (well, keep reading) but, I have little private jokes with myself going on all the time...(a whole other blog). The cake was a going away cake for me, since I was quitting to become a stay at home mom, not because of the incident that followed...(I was 9 months pregnant at the time.)
So in walks the Sheriff, and I say "Well, there is the Big Man himself!"...loud enough for everyone to hear, including him, and the whole room went silent. Not whispering to each other silent. Silent like Sprint-hearing a pin drop-silent. I was ready to crawl under the table and never come out. I was beyond embarrassed.
Eventually the whole room was roaring, and I was as red as the maroon shirts they had us wear. So, after we all had our cake, and calming down from the "incident" (we should have had a de-briefing meeting..J/K), he was going to give a speech. Everyone was chit-chatting away, so he said..."Excuse me, the Big Man would like to say something" (or something like that, all I know is he referred to himself as the Big Man, and I was red all over again during his speech.) DOH!
So, that is one time where I should have kept my thoughts inside my head, instead of blurting them out on a whim.
This night in the Grocery Store though, I was TRYING to make my words come out right, and I told him that "The big ones are on sale". He just looked at me funny. The lady just dropped the magazine on the floor, everyone turned red, and then I started giggling and then we all busted out laughing.
What made it worse, is that in my nervousness, I kept trying to explain what I was saying, but we were all too shocked to care. They didn't get the bigger box, and I haven't mentioned a sale like that to anyone since!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Lilacs in September?
I was amazed to notice that my lilacs are blooming again this year. I was on my way out the door last night and I walked past one of our lilac bushes. And there were a couple of flowers...I looked up and there are several buds that have bloomed! Ah, the smell of lilacs. It is my favorite smell when it comes to flowers. What a nice surprise, a spring bloom in the fall!
I was unaware that this could happen! I grabbed my camera today so that I made sure it wasn't my imagination!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
This made me laugh so hard, I cried!
Earlier today, I sent out a bulletin titled: Motorcycle Survey. Not expecting it back from too many people, tonight, when I got home from work, I was surprised to see a message from one of my dear friends...who shall be unnamed right now.
She is a mother of 2 small boys, like me, and her answers are just hilarious. I included it below, but made sure the names are not on it:
Please enjoy:
1.What type of motorcycle do you own? sport,cruiser,dualsport,offroad?
ummm....a toy one. 2 actually....
2.What make?
I think.....Mattell??? No lead paint tho. I think they are called M2R??? and the other.....alpinestar
3.What model?
no 'born on date', we just bought it hmmmmm......3 weeks ago!
4.What color?
one green (lime green) the other orange. both have white and black too.
5.Does it get looks when you ride?
Ya......I look like a gorilla riding a bike....hahahahahaha!!!!
6.How many cc's?
hmmmm.........I think alot....have you seen my bicep....especially when I push them around with the little men on them!
7.Top speed?
As fast as my chunky a** can carry 'em!
8.How much horsepower?
Ya.....I got horsepower baby!!!!.....and then, so do they!!! VROOM VROOM!!!!
10.Any Modifications?
Does gorilla glue to hold on the handle bars count?
11.1/4 mile?
Unsure....I may collapse before then!
12.0-60mph?
a life time
13.0-100mph?
I think I'm in the hospital....or my grave. GASP....I may not make it!
14.Dry weight?
right around 2 ounces each....and I did weigh them...hahahaha!
15.Fuel tank capacity?
0.....pure imagination to run these bad boys!
16.Fuel economy?
depends on what we ate that day to keep us up and playing!
17.Gears?
can't really tell, depends on who's playing. My youngest usually makes at least one down shift noise!
18.Can you wheelie it?
OHHHHH YEA............some times for several minutes from one mountain (sofa) to the the other (Chair).....huge dare devils!!!!
19.Which motorcycle rivals yours?
Well, today I was the orange one, and my youngest out did me with the green one.......
20.What is your next bike?
Well......if these hold out, and they grow out of the 'dirt bike' phase, perhaps none.........or a two wheeler pedal bike! HA!
21.What kind of tires do you have?
well...they are plastic and rubber, tiny, white plastic spokes....looks like some good tred.......
22.Do you have matching gear?
Oh ya, the guys come with matching gear, racing suits, removable helmets....(I think I stepped one one today), chest protectors, even small tools! quite the set up!
23.Full face, sport,half helmet, no helmet?
They have open face helmets, about the size of my pinky nail!
24.Would you sell your bike?
Well....they boys would be upset....but......I could part with them for about.....$5 apiece.....not all pieces may be present, one helmet may be broke (slightly smashed)
25.What is its best feature?
The joy they bring the boys when playing
26.Does it have a name?
motorcycle or dirt bike...I couldn't even begin to type the way my youngest says it.
27.Do you ride with a passenger?
ummmmm no, I haven't seen them put more than one guy on at a time........we do have rules......hahahahaha
28.Is your back seat open?
well....I guess so.
29.Are you a female rider?
Ummmm, yes, not so much a rider, but more an operator....again the gorilla/bike analogy.......
30.Do you ride in a group?
well, at least a group of two. How ever sometimes we do have out the snowmobiles and John Deere and Bob the Builder tractors to group play/ride with.......
31.Are you in a motorcycle club? If so whats it called?
Well, we tried inviting over the Hell's Angels for juice boxes and gold fish crackers....but they turned us down....again....DAMN.....one of these times!!!!!
32.Whats the farthest you've ridden?
Well, we did venture to the front yard once....but broke down, hence the gorilla glue, so, we usually stay between the bedroom and living room.
33.Whats the best thing you've seen?
The looks on their faces when they got them the first day.
34.Whats your next trip?
To the toy box tonight
35.Do you speed?
Ya....sometimes withut shifting.......I should start writting them out tickets......
36.Do you race?
Ya.....sometimes against Muck, Scoop, a big John Deere.....
37.Can you outrun the police?
Ohh.....yes, one time we did have the sheriff from Cars out..... rough one, didn't think we'd make it!
38.Can you stunt your bike?
YA!!!! You should see the "pop in the wheelies" I get to watch, and the big jumps I get to watch (see 18). "watch this mom, watch this mom....watch this mom"......over and over again!!!!!!
39.Do you have a pic?
I could take one if you'd like..........
40.Share info on your own motorcycle!
Its a motorcycle, it is fun. everyone should own one...
She is a mother of 2 small boys, like me, and her answers are just hilarious. I included it below, but made sure the names are not on it:
Please enjoy:
1.What type of motorcycle do you own? sport,cruiser,dualsport,offroad?
ummm....a toy one. 2 actually....
2.What make?
I think.....Mattell??? No lead paint tho. I think they are called M2R??? and the other.....alpinestar
3.What model?
no 'born on date', we just bought it hmmmmm......3 weeks ago!
4.What color?
one green (lime green) the other orange. both have white and black too.
5.Does it get looks when you ride?
Ya......I look like a gorilla riding a bike....hahahahahaha!!!!
6.How many cc's?
hmmmm.........I think alot....have you seen my bicep....especially when I push them around with the little men on them!
7.Top speed?
As fast as my chunky a** can carry 'em!
8.How much horsepower?
Ya.....I got horsepower baby!!!!.....and then, so do they!!! VROOM VROOM!!!!
10.Any Modifications?
Does gorilla glue to hold on the handle bars count?
11.1/4 mile?
Unsure....I may collapse before then!
12.0-60mph?
a life time
13.0-100mph?
I think I'm in the hospital....or my grave. GASP....I may not make it!
14.Dry weight?
right around 2 ounces each....and I did weigh them...hahahaha!
15.Fuel tank capacity?
0.....pure imagination to run these bad boys!
16.Fuel economy?
depends on what we ate that day to keep us up and playing!
17.Gears?
can't really tell, depends on who's playing. My youngest usually makes at least one down shift noise!
18.Can you wheelie it?
OHHHHH YEA............some times for several minutes from one mountain (sofa) to the the other (Chair).....huge dare devils!!!!
19.Which motorcycle rivals yours?
Well, today I was the orange one, and my youngest out did me with the green one.......
20.What is your next bike?
Well......if these hold out, and they grow out of the 'dirt bike' phase, perhaps none.........or a two wheeler pedal bike! HA!
21.What kind of tires do you have?
well...they are plastic and rubber, tiny, white plastic spokes....looks like some good tred.......
22.Do you have matching gear?
Oh ya, the guys come with matching gear, racing suits, removable helmets....(I think I stepped one one today), chest protectors, even small tools! quite the set up!
23.Full face, sport,half helmet, no helmet?
They have open face helmets, about the size of my pinky nail!
24.Would you sell your bike?
Well....they boys would be upset....but......I could part with them for about.....$5 apiece.....not all pieces may be present, one helmet may be broke (slightly smashed)
25.What is its best feature?
The joy they bring the boys when playing
26.Does it have a name?
motorcycle or dirt bike...I couldn't even begin to type the way my youngest says it.
27.Do you ride with a passenger?
ummmmm no, I haven't seen them put more than one guy on at a time........we do have rules......hahahahaha
28.Is your back seat open?
well....I guess so.
29.Are you a female rider?
Ummmm, yes, not so much a rider, but more an operator....again the gorilla/bike analogy.......
30.Do you ride in a group?
well, at least a group of two. How ever sometimes we do have out the snowmobiles and John Deere and Bob the Builder tractors to group play/ride with.......
31.Are you in a motorcycle club? If so whats it called?
Well, we tried inviting over the Hell's Angels for juice boxes and gold fish crackers....but they turned us down....again....DAMN.....one of these times!!!!!
32.Whats the farthest you've ridden?
Well, we did venture to the front yard once....but broke down, hence the gorilla glue, so, we usually stay between the bedroom and living room.
33.Whats the best thing you've seen?
The looks on their faces when they got them the first day.
34.Whats your next trip?
To the toy box tonight
35.Do you speed?
Ya....sometimes withut shifting.......I should start writting them out tickets......
36.Do you race?
Ya.....sometimes against Muck, Scoop, a big John Deere.....
37.Can you outrun the police?
Ohh.....yes, one time we did have the sheriff from Cars out..... rough one, didn't think we'd make it!
38.Can you stunt your bike?
YA!!!! You should see the "pop in the wheelies" I get to watch, and the big jumps I get to watch (see 18). "watch this mom, watch this mom....watch this mom"......over and over again!!!!!!
39.Do you have a pic?
I could take one if you'd like..........
40.Share info on your own motorcycle!
Its a motorcycle, it is fun. everyone should own one...
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